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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28203981">The Plights of Force Visions</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/hellowkatey/pseuds/hellowkatey'>hellowkatey</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Legends - All Media Types, Star Wars Legends: Jedi Apprentice Series - Jude Watson &amp; Dave Wolverton, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Cross-Posted on Tumblr, Domestic Fluff, Drowning, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Force Visions (Star Wars), Gen, Humor, Hurt Obi-Wan Kenobi, Hurt/Comfort, Jedi Knight Obi-Wan Kenobi, Obi-Wan Kenobi Gets a Hug, Obi-Wan Kenobi Needs a Hug, Padawan Anakin Skywalker, Padawan Obi-Wan Kenobi, That's Not How The Force Works (Star Wars), Trauma, Visions, Whump, Young Anakin Skywalker</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 23:54:10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>5</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>18,026</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28203981</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/hellowkatey/pseuds/hellowkatey</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Obi-Wan Kenobi has many infamous force abilities. He is most notorious for his connection with animals, though his silver tongue and acrobatic leaps are close behind. </p><p>Lesser known are his visions, frequent and pungent. These are the tales of a lifetime of seeing too much.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Anakin Skywalker &amp; Ahsoka Tano, CC-2224 | Cody &amp; Obi-Wan Kenobi, Obi-Wan Kenobi &amp; Anakin Skywalker, Qui-Gon Jinn &amp; Obi-Wan Kenobi</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>287</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Initiate Kenobi</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Obi-Wan has a secret that comes out at the worst possible time.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>As a youngling, Obi-Wan's creche master often noted the random fluctuation in his mood. One moment he was his usual mild-tempered self, playing with Quinlan, Bant, and Garen, reading, or maybe listening to music. The next, he was cross or withdrawn. It was something that concerned Master Vant, but while his mood swings were random, they were never indications of truly sinister emotions. His "negative" states were only ever to the extent of the youngling being a little bit grumpy-- never angry. She figured it was just growing pains, mood swings as he grew older and hormones began to surge. </p><p>Then one day, Master Vant was watching Obi-Wan and Quinlan spar in a lightsaber training class. Quinlan was much larger than ten-year-old Obi-Wan, but the boy excelled in lightsaber and acrobatics, which more than made up for the size deficit. The boys were living up to their skills, engaging in a quick-paced spar that was going on fifteen minutes of continued combat. She had half a mind to yield them for a break, but their creche mates (as well as a few curious younglings and padawans who wandered in to watch the commotion) were cheering them on. Master Vant saw the beads of sweat that dripped down both the boy's foreheads and soaked their training clothes, but she also saw the grins on both of their faces. Their mutual feelings of pride and accomplishment were palpable through the Force (something she would have to talk to them about later... Jedi do not dwell on pride, only revel in humility). </p><p>And then Quinlan swung his lightsaber sloppily, which Obi-Wan easily dodged and was able to knock his opponent off his feet and onto his back. Slippery from perspiration, Quinlan's lightsaber went flying out of his hand, clattering at the feet of Bant Eerin. </p><p>The room erupted in cheers. Padawans and younglings alike lept up, some cursing that their predictions of the outcome had been wrong and others cheering for Obi-Wan. But through the commotion, Master Vant felt a warning through the Force, and the next moment the yells of glee turned to panic. </p><p>She flew to her feet, trying to remain calm as she assessed the room looking for the source of distress that was pulsating through the Force. Her eyes finally focused in on Quinlan still sitting on the group looking frazzled, a limp Obi-Wan lying in his arms, face down. </p><p>"Clear the way!" Master Vant yelled, and the younglings parted for her to rush to the sparring ring. Quinlan looks stunned, sputtering over his words. </p><p>"He was... he was fine, Master Vant. Went to help-- he gave me his hand... Master Vant, he just went white, and it was like he wasn't there anymore-- and he fell forward." </p><p>She lays a comforting hand on the boy's back as she slips Kenobi's limp body into her own arms, flipping him over to look at his face in the process. "Quinlan, it's okay, it was not anything you did." she looks up at Bant, who is standing close by watching wordlessly. "Bant, my dear, go get a Healer. Swiftly. Garen, go with her." The two creche-mates nod and follow her instructions. Master Vant looks back down at the boy cradled in her lap. </p><p>His face is pale white as Quinlan had described, forehead slick with a cold sweat. Most concerning of all, his eyes remain open, staring blankly into nothingness. Vant presses two fingers against his pulse point, relieved that she can feel his heart beating rhythmically-- albeit, rapid, but beating. She drags her fingers up his neck to brush the hair slick against his forehead back, noticing his temperature is elevated, maybe even feverish. </p><p>Master Vant has seen this before. It's fairly rare, but she knows the signs. She closes her eyes, brushing up against the mind of Obi-Wan Kenobi. </p><p>She can feel turmoil. A little bit of fear and sadness. But she is surprised to find his shields are surprisingly strong for a boy of his age and experience. She can't see the vision that has rendered him unconscious or find a way to pull him out of it. </p><p>"What is happening to him?" Quinlan says, his hand still holding the limp hand of his sparring partner. </p><p>"A vision, Initiate Vos. Just give him time to come out of it." </p>
<hr/><p>When Obi-Wan awakes, he realizes he didn't remember falling asleep. As his sensitive eyes adjust to the brightness of daylight, he realizes he is laying in the Hall of Healing, a needle in his arm and pain in his head like he has never felt before. Groaning, he sits up, finding that this was a horrible plan. He is suddenly bent over the side of the bed, trying his best to aim the vomit forcing its way from his stomach into the tray on the side table, but ultimately being unsuccessful. </p><p>A hand is on his back, rubbing circles as the entirety of his lunch exits his body. Obi-Wan recognizes the Force presence of his creche-master Vant. </p><p>"It's okay, Obi-Wan, dear," she says, sending soothing feelings through the Force. "A common side effect of visions." </p><p>"Visions?" Obi-Wan rasps, dry heaving a few times before laying back into the soft pillow. </p><p>"Yes, you had a vision after your sparring session. You gave everyone quite a scare." </p><p>Obi-Wan inhales sharply, suddenly remembering everything. Battling with Quin, the smell of mint, and then everything became hazy. </p><p>Then he was transported. No longer in the training room with Quin and all his friends, but in a large field. It was a grassy field, none that he has ever seen on Coruscant or any training trip. In the distance, he saw smoke, and something told him he needed to check it out. So he walked through the hilly terrain until the sound of yelling made him stop dead. </p><p>
  <em>"Go, go, go! The detonators are about to go off!"</em>
</p><p>Obi-Wan broke into a run, reaching the top of the hill before he was nearly blown off his feet. A small village lay at the foothill, smoke billowing from numerous buildings. Kids ran from the village with blasters and bags full of detonators strapped to their bodies. Obi-Wan recoiled in horror.</p><p><em>"For the Young!" </em>one yelled. An explosion erupted, causing the ground beneath Obi-Wan to shake. He dropped to his hands and knees. </p><p><em>"For peace!"</em> the chorus responded. With his hands on the ground, he could hear the vibrations of many people running. Right toward him. Obi-Wan looked up and was met by calm blue eyes staring back at him. The boy is thin and fairly tall, his chin-length auburn hair whipping in the wind. Obi-Wan sucks in a breath. Behind the ear of the boy is a thin braid that barely reaches his shoulder. <em>A Padawan?</em></p><p>There was a familiarity to the boy. Something Obi-Wan couldn't quite put his finger on, but maybe the boy was a youngling, a few years older. </p><p>And then he woke up with a horrid headache and an upset stomach. Master Vant, rubbing his back. </p><p> </p><p>"I remember," Obi-Wan says softly. He can still smell the smoke and hear the debilitating bang of the explosion. He looks at Master Vant. "I saw kids, Master. They had guns and bombs. A village exploded." </p><p>Master Vants looks calm, but Obi-Wan can see the subtle signs of her alarm. She puts a hand over Obi-Wan's. "I have never had visions, Obi-Wan. But what I do know is what the Force reveals to us is not fixed. The future is fluid, and there are billions of permutations that could happen in reality." </p><p>"An understatement, billions is," a raspy, croak-like voice rings out. Obi-Wan instantly recognizes Grand Master Yoda as he jumps up onto the end of the bed. The green Jedi Master smiles at Obi-Wan. "More like it, trillions is." </p><p>"Master Yoda," Obi-Wan says in awe. </p><p>"Initiate Kenobi," Yoda says, sitting down cross legged. "Visions I hear you had." Obi-Wan nods. "Experienced this before have you?" </p><p>"Well... maybe? Nothing as strong as this. Just random snippits of things. Moments where I see or hear or smell something and then it happens later." Obi-Wan can feel Master Vant staring at him. </p><p>"Obi-Wan... you never told me." </p><p>He turns to his creche master sheepishly. "Sorry Master Vant. Honestly, I didn't think it was a big deal. I looked up on the holonet that sometimes people have these things before migrianes so I just thought it was that." </p><p>"Tell your creche master when you are not feeling well, you should do," Yoda adds, humming in agreement with Master Vant. "As for visions, counsel you we will. Help you learn what to do."</p><p>They discussed having him meet with various other Jedi Masters who also have had visions. And to see a mind healer to discuss his visions, which he is not thrilled about. It interferes with his usual saber practice with Garen! </p><p>He's gone almost five years on his own without help with these. He knows how to push through them, recognize when he smells the mint he needs to find somewhere to sit alone. (It's quite convenient when in the Jedi Temple and there's meditation rooms around every corner.) Obi-Wan also knows a cup of warm tea with honey is a good way to ease the headache, and he's getting better at lifting his grumpy moods.</p><p>He knows how to handle these visions. He doesn't need this spread around to every master in the order... what master would want to choose a padawan who could pass out at any moment? A shiver runs down Obi-Wan's spine. Yes, he can handle it. </p>
<hr/><p>The council meeting is nearing the end and Mace is ready to retire for the evening. There has been a lot on the docket for today and he is reaching the point where everyone is starting to sound like Yoda. </p><p>"Lastly," Adi Gallia announces, looking at the long agenda for the day. "Initiate Kenobi." </p><p>"Visions he has," Yoda says. "Frequent visions." </p><p>"How frequent?" Mace asks, intrigued. He heard about the Healers being called to the youngling training room but much of the details were not discussed formally. </p><p>"His creche master has been monitoring him this week and..." Adi Gallia looks up from the data pad. "Master Vant reports at least six this week alone." </p><p>The council falls silent. Visions on their own are rare, even short ones. For an initiate so young to have so many it's practically unheard of. </p><p>"The Force seems to be calling our attention to something," Mace says, shaking his head. "We just need to figure out <em>what</em>." </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Padawan Kenobi</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Padawan Obi-Wan just wants to play with his friends. Qui-Gon does some soul searching. The Force has poor timing.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Come on Obi-Wan!" Bant laughs, and she does a front flip in the water, managing to splash the cold water directly into Obi-Wan's face. He shakes it off, splashing back, but missing the quick Mon Calamari completely. </p><p>"Look out below!" Quin yells from an upper tier of the Room of a Thousand Fountains, and the next moment he is plummeting down, and a shutter tears through Obi-Wan as he remembers the last person he saw falling down into the fountains... Quin folds his legs into his chest and lands with a satisfying <em>kerPLUNK </em>in the water. He comes up laughing. The waves ripple against Obi-Wan's knees, reminding him to calm down.</p><p>Obi-Wan can hear his master's constant reminder though the Master Jedi is on the other side of the temple: <em>stay in the moment, padawan. Here and now.</em> </p><p>Obi-Wan knows he has to get over it eventually... he has to get over <em>all of it. </em>The struggles of his past as well as the glimpses into a future unknown. <em>Here and now</em>. It is not often the majority of his close friends are at the Temple simultaneously. Ever since they all began their own apprenticeships, it is like their schedules refused to line up. Obi-Wan is admittedly away the most, so after a long string of short missions, he finally has some respite to spend much needed time with other padawans. </p><p>His friends paddle around the pools playing some sort of diving game. Taking a deep breath, he slides into the cool water, swimming out to them. As he approaches, he hears them cheering, and his chest is filled with warm happiness. He missed this. </p><p>"Okay Obi, here's the game," Bant says. "It's a relay. Quin and I are on one team, and you, Siri, and Garen are on the other." </p><p>"Two against three? Doesn't seem fair," Obi-Wan frowns. </p><p>"I will go twice, and I am half the swimmer Bant is, so it evens out," Quin laughs. </p><p>"There's a diving stick for each of us. Dive down, bring it back up, and the next person can go when you tag them." </p><p>Seems easy enough. They decide Garen will go first, then Obi-Wan, and finally Siri, who is deemed the best swimmer of them all. Siri starts them and Garen and Quin both take deep breaths, and start swimming down to the bottom. </p><p>The fountain is about 5 meters in this area, so it's a fair challenge. Garen ends up beating Quin by quite a bit and slaps Obi-Wan's hand. He takes a gulp of air and then plunges down into the water. The cheers of his friends are muffled into silence under the water, surrounding him with a calm that almost makes him forget the relay. Obi-Wan opens his eyes as he uses his arms and legs to propel him down. He lets out a few bubbles of air every couple of seconds to even out the pressure in his chest. Through his blurry vision, he sees one of the diving sticks. There is a splash from above, and Obi-Wan realizes Bant must be taking her turn. <em>There goes our lead!</em> He increases his pace, grabbing the stick, and repositioning his body to push off the bottom. </p><p>As he turns right-side-up, the water around him begins to distort and twist. Obi-Wan's eyes go wide in horror and all the air from his lungs seems to force out of him. <em>No!</em> He screams, <em>not now,</em> but it only comes out as a rush of bubbles. He tries to push off the bottom but he has floated too far away and his feet meet nothing. </p><p>The water turns to a blur of darkness and then focuses. Gone are the calm waters of the gardens, and now Obi-Wan is staring up at a horrible mess of contorted metal and billowing smoke. His ears are ringing, the only thing breaking up the high-pitched frequency being the muffled sound of others nearby. Slowly, Obi-Wan tries to sit up, but a horrible pain shoots up his spine and he has to bite back a scream. </p><p>"Sir!" a voice with an accent he doesn't recognize cries out. A moment later there is a man in white and yellow armor leaning over him. His dark eyes scan over his body and then look back at his face. "Are you hurt, sir?" </p><p>"My hip," Obi-Wan says, but he is shocked when his voice does not come out as his own, but much deeper and raspier. Then, a thought that isn't his own leaves his lips. "What of the others? Are there survivors?" </p><p>The man hesitates, taking a deep breath before shaking his head. "Only a few, general." </p><p>"Very well. We will return after the battle for burials. Now, we must reach that rendezvous point. Help me stand," </p><p>"But, sir--"</p><p>"Help me stand!" </p><p>The man--<em>soldier-- </em>loops an arm around Obi-Wan's back and helps him to his feet. He bites back another cry of agony as pain shoots from his pelvis, the dislocation obvious from the numbness in his right leg and the shooting pins and needles coursing through his body. <em>This needs to be set</em>. </p><p>Standing, the leg is the least of Obi-Wan's concerns. Now, he has a full view of a ship practically torn in two, the opening displaying a horrid mess of fire and blaster fire. The sky is a rusty red color, foggy with smoke and debris from bombs that echo across the landscape. Obi-Wan sucks in a breath, feeling at his side for his lightsaber. </p><p>He hobbles with the help of the soldier out of the decimated ship and the maze of those who were not so fortunate as to survive the crash. He cannot look away from the haphazard clusters of soldiers lying over one another in a mess of blood, torn limbs, and burning flesh. Nausea rises in his throat, so he looks away. Obi-Wan instructs the soldier to help him to the ground and then he looks at him with nervous anticipation. </p><p>"You must help me reset my hip."</p><p>The soldier's eyes widen, looking down at the odd angle his right leg is resting at. </p><p>"Medical is--"</p><p>"Too far away. We mustn't delay."</p><p>The trooper kneels at his side, not meeting his gaze. </p><p>There is a deep breath.</p><p>A crack. The horrid sound of bone scraping against bone.</p><p>And a muffled scream that is unheard by anyone else, masked by the sound of an exploding bomb. </p>
<hr/><p>Quinlan tags Bant's hand and she leisurely takes a breath and dives down. Unlike her human and near-human friends, the water is her home. She kicks her webbed feet, letting the water flow around her as she dives deeper. The lovely thing about the Room of a Thousand Fountains is they have designed the floors of the pool to imitate the changes in elevation in a true aquatic environment. Bant revels in the comfort it brings her and then shifts back into a competitive mindset.</p><p>She looks around for Obi-Wan, who she realizes should be making his way back up to the surface by now. His swimming abilities are a point of pride for Bant, as she was the one who taught him a few years ago. </p><p>She propagates herself upright and spins herself around until she spots a pale human boy a few meters away, and Bant's heart feels like it halts. Obi-Wan floats, unmoving, the diving stick still held limply in his hand. She frantically swims to him, now able to see his eyes and mouth wide open, no bubbles escaping his mouth. Bant grabs hold of him under his arms, trying as she may to not panic and she swims with him as fast as she possibly can back to the surface. </p><p>"Help!" she gasps, as they reach the open air. Obi-Wan's head falls limply back onto her shoulder and she kicks hastily toward solid ground. Siri, Garen, and Quinlan are frozen, just watching her swim away with an unresponsive Obi-Wan until they seem to simultaneously realize what is occurring and start following her. </p><p>"What happened?" Siri sputters as she jumps out of the water along with Quinlan. Together they grab Obi-Wan under his arms and hoist him out of the water. </p><p>"I don't know!" </p><p>Siri places her hand on Obi-Wan's cheek, using the other to shake his shoulder. Bant and Garen hop out, Garen making a mad dash for his commlink and Bant standing in shock over her friend. Obi-Wan is deathly pale, his eyes open and fixed, and his lips beginning to turn blue. </p><p>"He's not breathing," Siri gasps, and Quinlan pushes her hand out of the way of his cheek.</p><p>"Bant, you just took your field medic exam too, right?" he says, his eyes wide with slight panic. She nods and quickly sits next to Quin. He places a hand on Obi-Wan's chest and Bant puts one on his forehead. She can feel the Force surrounding them, growing stronger and more potent. Bant concentrates on isolating the Force within Obi-Wan that is distinguishable from the rest of him. She grasps it in the Force, coaxing it to come together and then depart. A deep ache starts to spread through her-- the practice dummies did not have the Life Force of a living being to differentiate between, making reality much more exhausting to pull off. Bant can feel her heartbeat in her ears as she finally gets a good grasp on the obstruction. The next moment, orbs of water are emerging from Obi-Wan's open mouth, splashing onto the ground. </p><p>To Bant's relief, Obi-Wan starts to cough and sputter. Siri helps Quin push him to his side, the remainder of the water pouring unceremoniously out of his nose and mouth. Exhaustion fills Bant, and from the way, Quin's shoulders are sagging he is also feeling the strain. Siri's fingers curl on Obi-Wan's neck in an instant, and she lets out a sigh of relief. </p><p>The relief is short-lived though, for when Bant looks at Obi-Wan's face again he still has that blank expression. Eyes open, skin pale, and now a slight tremor moving through him.</p><p>Frantic footsteps approach, and in runs Master Che and a team of healers. The Twi'lek healer is usually not a Master that easily loses her cool, but Bant can see the blatant evidence of shock and horror on her face. </p><p>"Move aside, Padawans," she says firmly, practically pushing Quinlan out of the way when he doesn't move fast enough. Bant helps Quin up and gathers together with Siri and Garen. They watch helplessly as the healers begin to work. </p><p>"What happened?" Siri asks, an obvious shakiness in her voice. </p><p>Bant doesn't answer. She doesn't have words right now. The adrenaline is beginning to wear off and the realization that Obi-Wan was not breathing for at least a minute or two is weighing heavy in her chest. She feels Garen's hand slip into hers.</p><p>"It looks like when he had that bad vision," Garen says in a tone also thick with emotion. "Poor Obi." </p><p><em>It must have been that</em>. There is no other explanation as to how this could have happened so quickly. Bant has talked with Obi-Wan a little bit about his visions. She knows they come without warning, especially the bad ones. Bant catches a quick glimpse of him. He is still lying still, now with an oxygen mask strapped over his mouth and nose. </p><p>Master Che steps away, allowing the other healers to take over. She walks swiftly to the group of friends, looking at them with a much softer expression than when she first arrived. </p><p>"Padawans," she says in a calming voice. "You acted quickly and wisely."</p><p>"Will he be okay?" Quinlan asks. </p><p>"We will know more when he wakes up, but I believe he will okay. I must know how this happened, though." </p><p>Quinlan and Siri explain their game, pulling a lifeless Obi-Wan out, and then resuscitating him. When they finish, she crouches down to be eye-to-eye with Bant. </p><p>"You are shaken, Padawan Eerin. That is understandable in such a stressful situation." she places a calming hand on her shoulder. "You and Padawan Vos did excellent work. With Padawan Muln and Tachi's support, you four saved his life." </p><p>Bant finally meets the eyes of the healer and nods. Master Che squeezes her shoulder and returns to aid Obi-Wan. The Mon Calamari padawan takes slow deep breaths to calm herself, letting the words of the healer settle in. <em>You four saved his life</em>. They are not words she expected to be heard on an afternoon of fun with her friends.</p>
<hr/><p>"And how are things going with your padawan, Master Jinn?" Mace asks him. Somehow his friend is much more intimidating sitting in that council chair than when he asks him the same question over tea. Qui-Gon looks around at the other council members patiently awaiting his official statement. </p><p>"Better, I believe. We have been working diligently to strengthen our bond, and after the last few missions to Kegan and Ord Sigatt, Obi-Wan has demonstrated his sincere apologies and proven his commitment to the Jedi." </p><p>There is a glance exchanged between a few of the council members that put Qui-Gon on edge. Mace looks back at him. </p><p>"And how is Obi-Wan?" </p><p>"Well, like I said he is being very good and was excited to build his own lightsaber when we--"</p><p>"I mean how <em>is</em> he, Qui-Gon." </p><p>Qui-Gon knows what they mean, but he is hesitant to speak for Obi-Wan. If he is being honest, the chasm between them is still a chasm-- but the council expects it to be a ditch at most. It is not like Qui-Gon doesn't want to trust his own padawan-- Obi-Wan has certainly proven he is more than useful in missions, and he can sense nothing but sincerity from the boy. But... there's still a disconnect he hasn't quite figured out. He had hoped taking him to Ilum would help. In a way, it had. </p><p>"Well, he's..." Qui-Gon trails off, a strange feeling coming over him. He looks around, sensing no danger nearby, so he reaches out through the training bond. Qui-gon sucks in a breath as he goes to brush against his padawan's mind and feels <em>nothing</em>. "--in trouble," Qui-Gon whispers, looking up in shock. Mace leans forward, looking perplexed. </p><p>"What was--"</p><p>"Obi-Wan's in trouble!" Qui-Gon says, turning and running out the door. The Force is tumultuous, twisting with concurrent feelings of <em>danger, fear, </em>and <em>agony.</em>  His throat feels tight as he stops in the middle of the hallway, unsure where he's even going. He can't feel Obi-Wan through their bond, can't seem to locate his Force presence... <em>Calm down, Qui, the Force won't help you if you're panicking.</em> </p><p>Behind him, there are rapid footsteps. Mace appears at his side. "Fountains. Healers were summoned." They start sprinting toward the Room of a Thousand Fountains. </p><p>As he grows closer, Qui-Gon is relieved to feel the faint presence of his apprentice. It is dim but it is <em>something</em>. Mace and Qui-Gon burst into the room to find a group of padawans huddled together, arms around one another. Qui-Gon recognizes Bant Eerin clutching the hand of Garen Muln as silent tears slip down the Mon Calamari's face. <em>Obi-Wan's friends</em>! He rounds the corner and feels his entire body stiffen. On the ground lays Obi-Wan, an oxygen mask strapped to his face and various other wires and sensors against his skin. </p><p>Qui-Gon approaches, careful not to disturb Vokara Che with a scanner pressed against his back. Up close, he is relieved to see Obi-Wan's chest rising and falling shallowly, but is taken aback as he realizes his eyes are open but unresponsive. </p><p>"Is he..." </p><p>"Still in the vision, yes." Master Che answers, frowning at the unconscious boy. "Otherwise, I can't tell yet." Qui-Gon blinks in surprise. He meant to ask if the padawan was conscious...</p><p>"V<em>ision</em>?" Qui-Gon asks. Suddenly Vokara and Mace's eyes are focused on him. </p><p>"Why do you sound so surprised?" Vokara seems quite shocked. </p><p>"I mean I knew he supposedly had them but..." Qui-Gon swallows hard as he stares at the unmoving boy. "I've never seen him like <em>this</em>." </p><p>Qui-Gon originally was worried about Obi-Wan's visions. It is one of the reasons he was hesitant to accept him as his padawan a few years earlier. They're a rare Force ability, and quite frankly he hardly considers them less an <em>ability</em> more than a curse. The anger he felt in a young initiate Kenobi paired with his supposed visions felt like a recipe for disaster that Qui-Gon was not willing to put himself through again. However, he very quickly proved himself wrong. Obi-Wan has proven easy to teach and much more in control of his emotions than Qui-Gon expected. Though he's made some mistakes in their short time together, Qui-Gon still finds himself continually impressed with his padawan's willingness to accept his wrongdoings and learn from them. </p><p>And slowly his worry about the visions also melted away. In fact, he isn't sure he's ever witnessed the boy having one. He chose to believe that maybe the boy had grown out of them, which was a choice rooted in hope rather than fact. </p><p>Staring at his unresponsive padawan now, Qui-Gon realizes he has allowed himself to bask in the light of ignorance, and sorrow fills his chest.</p><p>"We will talk about... <em>that</em> later," Master Che says in a low voice, turning her back to Qui-Gon to continue her assessment. "We must get him to the healing halls. Prepare a stretcher." </p><p>He watches helplessly as his padawan is hoisted up onto a stretcher and quickly taken away. For a moment he just stands, the Fountains crashing behind him suddenly the least soothing sound in the Temple. </p><p> </p><p>He walks alongside Mace Windu in silence. Qui-Gon has known the great master long enough to know when he is formulating something to say, and right now he feels he is in for the lecture of a lifetime. </p><p>Instead, Windu just asks a simple inquiry. "You really never knew?" </p><p>Qui-Gon stares straight ahead as they approach the Halls of Healing. "If he had them, he never told me." A hand grabs his wrist gently, stopping him just outside where he can see Obi-Wan. Qui-Gon sighs, finally looking into the serious eyes of Mace Windu. "I had... suspicions." </p><p>"Suspicions?" </p><p>"I would awake sometimes. Feel distress through our bond, but it was always brief. He meditates a lot, too. More than any padawan I have ever trained. Now I..." he swallows hard. "Now I see he may have been <em>hiding</em> this from me." While Qui-Gon wants to be cross at Obi-Wan for not telling him about these visions, the emotion that gets caught in his throat is not disappointment. It's guilt. </p><p>Mace sighs, releasing his wrist. "Talk to the boy. A vision of this magnitude may be... traumatic for him. Especially with the drowning, he will need your support." </p><p>He nods, giving a grim yet thankful look to his old friend, and goes to see his padawan.</p>
<hr/><p>Obi-Wan sits in the living room of the quarters he shares with his master, staring blankly out the window. His fingers fiddle with the waxy coating of one of the many plants Qui-Gon has about the apartment. </p><p>In the back of his mind, he can feel Master Jinn staring at him from the kitchen. Usually, he would turn around and engage in conversation, but speaking is the last thing he feels like doing right now. </p><p>It's been a week since he nearly drowned at the bottom of the Room of a Thousand Fountains. A week since Bant and Quinlan brought him back to life. A week since he woke up with the taste of dirt and blood in his mouth and horrific pain in his chest. Master Che explained that he must have breathed in a tremendous amount of water, damaging his respiratory tract. </p><p>A week since he lay in the Hall of Healing with his master standing idly by, seemingly afraid to ask. A week since he's uttered a single word. </p><p>At moments he feels bad. Obi-Wan can feel the uncertainty and guilt that Master Jinn is experiencing through their bond. Qui-Gon has been keeping his shields minimal ever since it happened, allowing their bond to flourish and strengthen. It feels good to see him reaching out, and Obi-Wan is in no way angry with his master for any reason, though Qui-Gon seems to think he is. </p><p>He just... isn't ready. </p><p>A few of his friends have come by. He can hear Qui-Gon give them the preface as they enter, as though he is deaf rather than mute. </p><p>"Now, Obi-Wan still is not talking. His lungs and throat are still very sore, but I know he appreciates your company. Just don't expect him to reply right now." </p><p>And Obi-Wan feels worse about his friends. They come to sit with him whenever they don't have classes, telling him all about their days, upcoming missions with their own masters, and news about the Temple. He nods along with them, not really reacting but at least letting them know he is listening. They all leave with similar expressions of unease, which Qui-Gon gives them a comforting pat on the back for as they depart. Truly, he does like their company. He just isn't ready. </p><p>"Padawan," Qui-Gon says, and Obi-Wan feels the couch dip under his master's weight. "Tea?" </p><p>Obi-Wan slowly turns, looking first at the steaming mug of tea that is being offered to him, and then at his master's face. Obi-Wan looks him in the eye, nods, and then takes the cup. He expects Qui-Gon to retreat back to the kitchen as he has done all week, but he does not. </p><p>"Obi-Wan, I will not try to offer any sort of understanding of what you have been through. I could feel only a sliver of the emotions you experiences while seeing whatever you saw, it was enough to make my stomach turn on the other side of the Temple," Qui-Gon shutters slightly. "But I want you to know that I am here whenever you are ready to speak about your vision... or whenever you want to talk about anything at all." </p><p>Obi-Wan stares as this unexpected monologue plays out. The entire week, Qui-Gon has been dancing around the topic. A number of masters would come, and they would stand there talking in hushed tones and fleeting glances in his direction. But never to Obi-Wan directly. </p><p>"I also... want to apologize. I have not done my duty as your master to guide you through these troubling experiences. You have done a very good job of hiding them, and I was willing to let you." Qui-Gon places a hand on Obi-Wan's shoulder, squeezing it ever so gently. "I am sorry, my padawan." </p><p>No lecture about dwelling on any time other than the present. No passive-aggressive advances. An <em>apology</em>. Obi-Wan blinks in surprise before resolve starts to sweep through him. </p><p> </p><p>The next morning, they repeat the routine. Qui-Gon makes him tea-- they've been sampling their way through a set of Alderaanian teas, and today is a lovely aromatic jasmine loose-leaf. His master rambles about some drama that has been circulating through the Temple rumor mill, somehow managing to slip in an ever-so-veiled threat about if he ever caught him up on the Temple roof. For the first time, Obi-Wan smiles, and he can feel relief wash through Qui-Gon's features at the very sight. It's natural. Warm. Maybe it's the fact that Obi-Wan got his first full night of sleep without a horrifying nightmare to wake him, or maybe it's that Qui-Gon is finally relaxing around him. Treating him as not just a padawan but a friend. </p><p>The Jedi Master takes Obi-Wan's empty cup and starts to stand, but Obi-Wan reaches out and grabs his hand. He looks surprised, his dark eyes staring down at him with curiosity.</p><p>"This vision... was the worst," Obi-Wan says softly, his voice raspy from being unused for an entire week. Qui-Gon leans in, his eyes wide with the realization that his padawan has just spoken for the first time in over a week. Unmistakable relief fills his features and bleeds into their bond. Encourages him to continue. "The worst I've ever had." Qui-Gon nods, obviously unsure of if what he should ask, so Obi-Wan continues. "I was not just watching it, I was <em>there. </em>I felt everything, heard everything."</p><p>"Do you know where you were?" </p><p>He shakes his head. "I was in a war." </p><p>The Jedi Master's expression starts to darken. "Like Melida--" </p><p>He shakes his head again. "Different. Worse." Obi-Wan's throat feels congested as tears start to brim in his eyes. He feels a little ashamed to be crying right now, but just as Obi-Wan has not spoken in a week, he also has not yet cried. </p><p>And oh how he needs to cry. </p><p>He is swept into the arms of his master, the billowing sleeves of the cloak making him feel like he is wrapped up and safe. Qui-Gon's chin rests on his head as he cries into his master's chest, the vision coming crashing back. He unloads it all, the smells, the pain, the death. He can't see Master Jinn but he can feel the stillness of his body as he processes the desperate recounting of such a vivid experience. </p><p>When he finishes, he is just a mess of gasping and sniffles. Qui-Gon runs his fingers through his hair to soothe him. </p><p>"My padawan, you... you are very brave to face such trials."</p><p>"It was so real, Master. So real I thought waking up in the Halls was a dream and that was reality." </p><p>"Obi-Wan," Qui-Gon's voice is soft as he pulls back to look him in the eye. "I know your visions are difficult and can be very scary, but I do not want you treating them as your burden to bear." </p><p>"But Master--"</p><p>"When I took you as my padawan I promised to mentor you. Raise you. Admittedly, I have not always been very good at my duties, but I want to be better," As his master speaks more earnestly than Obi-Wan could have ever expected, he can't help the tears that start up again. These are different tears from earlier though. Not out of fear but out of relief. Happiness. Qui-Gon takes his hand, squeezing it softly. "You don't have to tell me what you see in every vision you have... but I do want you to let me know whenever you do have them. It can be as casual as one of your witty retorts you like to throw at me so often," Obi-Wan can't help a slightly embarrassed smile. "but I want to know. Do you understand, Padawan?" </p><p>"Yes, Master," Obi-Wan says. So often he says those very words as the auto-pilot reply to everything. This time, though, he means it. </p>
<hr/><p>Bant, Quinlan, Siri, and Garen sit on the edge of the pool in the Room of a Thousand Fountains. While this felt like a good idea when they planned it-- to come back to the room where Obi-Wan had nearly drowned two weeks earlier and meditate on their fears, the reality is much more difficult. </p><p>Every time Bant looks into the water she can see her friend lifeless at the bottom, his eyes staring into nothingness. She can feel ghost exhaustion from using the Force to pull the water from his lungs. The weight of his body as she swam with him to the surface. Meditation is hard to come by when the entire body is tensed up. </p><p>Bant is sure the others are facing similar fates. She knows that Quin has been so quiet as of late that some of his teachers have asked if he is feeling ill. Siri confided in her that she keeps walking past Master Jinn and Obi-Wan's apartment but hasn't worked up the courage to actually see him. Garen didn't eat a thing at lunch today. She knows Obi is okay now. He started talking again a few days ago, much to the relief of all of them, but Bant knows that he is still struggling. She saw it in his eyes the last time she visited-- whatever he saw has struck him to his very core, and she feels for her friend who certainly didn't ask for this fate. </p><p>She kicks her leg softly so a small wave pushes from her webbed feet. While Bant is sure a swim may clear her mind, she is hesitant to slip into the water in front of her friends. </p><p>"Aren't you all a lively bunch?" A familiar Core accent rings out from behind them. The four padawans turn to see none other than Obi-Wan standing a meter away, a shy smile on his face and a towel in hand. It's been a few days since any of them have seen him and Bant must admit, he looks worlds better. There's color in his face again and seeing his smile is like a breath of fresh air. The dark circles under his eyes are still evident, but Obi-Wan has never been known for having regular sleep schedules. </p><p>"Look who it is," Quin says with a half-smile more gusto than he has displayed all week. </p><p>Obi-Wan walks forward and sits down in the space between Siri and Garen. He kicks off his boots and sticks his feet in the water like the rest of them. Once he has settled he looks up with a nervous expression, his gaze fleeting between the four of them. Bant realizes that all of them are wordlessly staring at him. She clears her throat and the others seem to catch on. </p><p>"How are you feeling, Obi-Wan?" Siri asks carefully. </p><p>"Better. I, uh, came here to thank you all actually. If the Jedi believed in such a thing I would owe all of you a hefty life debt." </p><p>"Perhaps we should petition the council for that to be a new tradition. I do hate cleaning my quarters," Quinlan jokes. Obi-Wan rolls his eyes. </p><p>"I <em>already</em> help you clean your quarters, Quin."</p><p>"By help do you mean you do all of it while he folds and unfolds the same tunic?" Garen chuckles. </p><p>"Oh yes, and then he makes those toasted cheese sandwiches when he feels guilty for not helping."</p><p>"It's honestly worth the cheese toasties." </p><p>Now Siri and Bant are giggling and Quin is desperately trying to get a word in otherwise. The tension in the garden slowly begins to release until the five padawans sit in comfortable silence, a little bit of residual laughing every few moments. </p><p>"I heard you all were coming here to meditate," Obi-Wan says with a little more seriousness. </p><p>"How did you--" </p><p>"Our Masters are horrible gossips it seems," he interrupts Siri's inquiry. "I thought... I would join you all. I definitely have some..." he glances at the waterfalls crashing around them. "<em>misgivings </em>to work out with this room." </p><p>Bant smiles. "Of course you can meditate with us, Obi." </p><p>"And then we can all go back to Quin's for cheese toasties!" Siri adds, throwing a mischievous look at a defeated-looking Kiffar. </p><p>The padawans laugh and shift to form a meditation circle. Bant can't help but smile as she feels the presence of her friends around her, all sinking into the Force. The anxiety that had once made her head feel foggy begins to clear, especially as she feels Obi-Wan's own stress and fear release into the Force. While diving relays may not be a game they do in the near future, she can feel all of them on the mend. </p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Thanks for reading! Hopefully this wasn't too reliant on Jedi Apprentice context and if you haven't read those books you can pick up the gist (though I do recommend them!).<br/>I may or may not be on team Qui-Gon-Kinda-Sucked but I also firmly believe he had good intentions he was just super bad at showing them. He loved Obi but also took him for granted.<br/>Anyways, we jump next to Knight Kenobi so stay tuned for tiny Anakin!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Knight Kenobi</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>He tries to relax, but of course the Force can’t give Jedi Knight Obi-Wan Kenobi a break. Anakin gets out of class early and finds Obi-Wan in the midst of a vision.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I've been a little mean to Obi-Wan so here's a happier installation :)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>There are coveted moments in Obi-Wan's day when the apartment is finally quiet. His thirteen-year-old padawan is not babbling about something or the other that happened in his philosophy class. No excruciatingly loud reverberations echoing through the wall while Anakin fiddles with his latest <em>project</em>. No gaggle of various other padawans running in and out of the quarters, swiping meal bars and grabbing glasses of water as though it is their own home. (The last bothers Obi-Wan the least-- he is pleased to see Anakin making friends and quite enjoys that they feel comfortable traipsing around their quarters. He even picks up extra snacks to leave around for them, but their frequent presence is in no way <em>quiet</em>) </p><p>Luckily, there are always a few hours during the week in which Anakin is in class and Obi-Wan has completed his own training sessions and extracurriculars with other knights. He has the freedom to take a nice, long shower, lounge on the couch with a book or watch a holovid, and maybe even take a nap if he's feeling a little wild. It's his guilty pleasure, a time he lets himself relax in a fashion other than meditation. </p><p>Today is like any other. He returns from a spar with Luminara Unduli and wastes no time in stripping off his sweaty robes and turning on the shower. After a revitalizing soak, he steps out, wiping off the steamy mirror. His own face stares back at him, and for the hundredth time, he considers <em>the beard</em>. </p><p>He never thought he'd be a beard-guy but after a very elderly Master scolded him for not being in his padawan classes at the ripe age of <em>twenty-six</em>, he decided maybe a beard might do him good. For a few weeks, it was horridly patchy, looking as though Anakin had glued pieces of hair to his chin while blindfolded. He got a bit of teasing for it, but Jedi are meant to be patient and so he waited. Eventually, it filled out, cupping the bottom half of his face with an impressive ginger-colored mane. He's taken to trimming it short-- with the amount of saber training and conditioning he does, it gets quite hot and itchy-- but every time he looks in the mirror he gets the urge to just shave it all off. </p><p>Then he remembers another interaction when they were on Zonama Sekot and a stranger thought him and Anakin to be brothers. Usually, masters and their padawans are equated to parents and children, so the sibling comparison was... not ideal. Not with a padawan who already likes to test the limits of his master's authority. (It certainly put a glimmer in Anakin's eye, though.) </p><p>So he grew the beard. And now, the beard stays. </p><p>Obi-Wan finishes getting dressed, throwing on a fresh pair of Jedi robes and running some product through his hair. He feels refreshed, unwound after the tough spar. The knight pads into the kitchen, puts a kettle on for tea, and pulls out some leftovers from Dex's. As his food reheats, he senses a sudden whiff of mint. His body goes still. </p><p>"Drat," he says under his breath, using the Force to turn off the stovetop. He walks carefully to the couch, his vision already starting to tunnel. As he has done many times throughout his life, he shuts his shields. Tight. Then lays down. </p><p>Darkness pulls him from reality quickly. One moment he is staring at his ceiling as it spins, and the next he is somewhere else entirely. </p>
<hr/><p>Anakin Skywalker hates philosophy. Hates it. Nothing in the entire galaxy could make him enjoy an hour and a half of learning about what? Theories that don't even make sense? Questions that have no answers? It's infuriating. </p><p>He is always glad to leave the class, even though it's Master Yoda's course and he likes the old green guy. (Though, Anakin has a sneaking suspicion that Master Yoda's weird speech patterns aren't making philosophy any easier.)</p><p>Anakin says goodbye to Master Yoda and heads to his next slot. It's mathematics-- math at least has a clear right and wrong answer, and Anakin is fortunate enough to find the right answer more often than not. As he approaches the classroom he is surprised to find the door closed. He turns to another padawan he recognizes from his class.</p><p>"We have math today?" </p><p>"Cancelled," the Mon Calamari boy says with a big grin.</p><p>"Wizard," Anakin grins back, pulling his bag off to shove his datapad in. No class means he is done early! <em>Maybe Master Obi-Wan will spar with me!</em></p><p>It's a longshot, but Anakin always hopes that one day he will catch his master in the best of moods, and he will finally agree to an impromptu sparring session. It's not that Obi-Wan doesn't train him in saber fighting-- it's just... always katas and short fights where he spends half the time instructing him or deliberately on defense. For once, Anakin wants a challenge. He wants to show his master that given the chance, he can step up the challenge and put up a good effort. </p><p>Maybe that would help him get better quicker. He is already the best fighter of all the junior padawans-- even those a few years older than him! But he wants to be the best of <em>all</em> the padawans. Junior and senior. If he is going to get there, he needs to be practicing against real challenges. Master Kenobi type of challenges. </p><p>It's no secret that his master is one of the best fighters in all the order. He killed a Sith! Though Anakin hasn't watched him spar in a while, he has heard rumors from the other padawans of his superiority among the other knights. It brings a smile to Anakin's face to hear them whispering about <em>his</em> master. He was skeptical when Obi-Wan told him he was going to start specializing in Form III-- <em>I mean, who the heck switches Soresu when they are already awesome at a form as cool as Ataru?</em>-- but from the Temple gossip, it must be paying off. </p><p>So Anakin walks quickly through the halls, his imagination running wild about the potential spar he and his master could soon be engaging in. He knows better than to let himself get his hopes up, but he just has a good feeling about today. By the time he reaches their shared quarters, he is practically bursting as he rehearses how he is going to propose the idea. </p><p>Anakin walks into the quarters and immediately can feel that something is strange. He hadn't noticed it before, but his bond with Obi-Wan is quiet. Not the usual quiet, but a different quiet. He scans the room, his gaze falling on his master lying quietly on the couch. Anakin tiptoes over, rounding the side to look at his master's face. His eyes are closed, but he is not sleeping. Sleep feels different in the Force. No... this is that weird state that he gets in sometimes. </p><p>A part of Anakin is a little annoying. A little disappointed. <em>Of course, he'd be having a vision the one day I get off early! </em></p><p>It isn't Obi-Wan's fault. They've talked a lot about visions and how they work, but he still has the urge to curse the Force. </p><p>He sets down his bag and runs into the kitchen. There is already a kettle full of water sitting on the stove and an abandoned container of takeout in the heater. <em>Don't mind if I do,</em> he thinks, restarting the heating process. He turns the stove on to boil the water. Anakin glances back at his unconscious master to ensure he is still in his fugue state before using the Force to telekinetically select and bring a teabag to his hand. He grins slyly and puts it into a mug. </p><p>The food finishes heating and he takes it into the living room, settling down on a chair next to Obi-Wan and digging into the sandwich. </p><p>Now, he waits. </p>
<hr/><p>Obi-Wan is walking down the corridor of the Jedi Temple. It's bright outside, sending streams of light through the massive windows. He feels a tinge of nostalgia like he hasn't seen such a beautiful sight in a long time. </p><p>From behind him, there are quiet, rapid footsteps. A familiar Force presence. The next moment, an arm hooks over his shoulders, and the weight of a taller human being presses into his side. </p><p>"Master Obi-Wan, you thought you could hide from me, huh?"</p><p>"I didn't realize walking to my quarters was considered hiding," </p><p>"It is when we have <em>plans</em> and you are definitely not dressed." </p><p>Obi-Wan finally turns to look up at the young man. Staring back at him is the wry face of an older Anakin. His hair is longer, slowly growing out past his ears and in a bit of an awkward stage. Darker, too. Without the suns of Tatooine to continuously bleach it, his natural light brunette color has taken a sturdy root. Paired with his dark robes, the contrast makes his blue eyes look even brighter. </p><p>"I don't recall making <em>plans</em>, Anakin." </p><p>"You. Me. Rex, Fives, and Oddball. Drinks." He pats Obi-Wan's shoulder before releasing him from the half-choke hold. "You can invite Cody, too, if you want." </p><p>Obi-Wan chuckles. "I quite doubt you actually want to get drinks with me. You go have fun with your men," </p><p>A groan and then Anakin is suddenly in front of him, stopping his forward progress. It's much easier to take in the hulking height of the young man. His sturdy stature and the maturity in his squared jaw. "I'm pretty sure I wouldn't have tracked you down if I didn't you to be there, Master." </p><p>There's a seriousness to his tone. Just a tinge. </p><p>"I suppose there is a logic in that statement." </p><p>"You act like I'm not logical."</p><p>"That is precisely what I was implying, actually," Obi-Wan grins. Anakin rolls his eyes, falling back to Obi-Wan's side as they continue walking toward his quarters. He presses a hand to the back of his head dramatically. </p><p>"Master, you wound me," Obi-Wan can feel his eyes on him once again. "So you'll come?"</p><p>Warmth spreads through him. The bastard is funneling positive feelings and encouragement through the damn Force. </p><p>"I suppose a few drinks could be nice." </p><p>Anakin grins, patting him on the shoulders twice. "Landing pad 2, one standard," and then he turns and runs off. </p><p>
  <em>Always on the move.</em>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>As Obi-Wan opens his eyes and a familiar sharp pain presses against his temples, he is met with the blurry sight of a blonde-headed boy standing over him. He blinks through the headache and the face of his padawan appears clearly. </p><p>"Good morning, Master," Anakin smiles. <em>The same smile as the older version of him. Some things never change...</em></p><p>"Anakin," he slurs, reaching up to rub his eyes. "What time--"</p><p>"Nearly three." </p><p>A pause. Obi-Wan's hands drop from his eyes and he pushes himself up onto his elbow. "Shouldn't you be in--"</p><p>"Cancelled today," the padawan rolls his eyes. "Leave it to you, Master, to come out of a vision and think about my class schedule."</p><p>Obi-Wan scoffs, deciding to let that quip go. Besides, he can smell the familiar scent of his favorite post-vision herbal tea somewhere nearby. </p><p>"Oh, right," Anakin says, turning and picking up a mug from the table. Lo and behold, a fresh cup of tea still steaming. He hands it to Obi-Wan. </p><p>For a moment, he just stares at his padawan standing before him. Those bright blue eyes looking at him expectedly. Looking for approval. The same eyes he saw in his vision. The same man, though right now just a boy. The feeling of warmth still blossoms in his chest, though now it is not the figment of a Force vision, but his real-time feelings. Anakin is a headstrong, arrogant, padawan. Talented, witty, and a royal pain in Obi-Wan's ass most of the time. Yet, beneath it all, he is the special boy Qui-Gon saw the world in. A boy that has nothing yet offers everything. </p><p>Even if it's just a cup of tea to ease a headache. When he's coming out of a vision, that <em>is</em> everything. </p><p>"Thank you, my dear padawan," he smiles. "You spoil me." </p><p>Anakin beams. "Anything to make you less crabby, Master." It's Obi-Wan's turn to roll his eyes, attempting to reach out and tug at Anakin's braid, but the boy manages to evade him. He goes to sit down on the adjacent chair, picking up a tray of food from the side table. Obi-Wan eyes it suspiciously.</p><p>"Is that <em>my </em>leftovers?" </p><p>Anakin freezes midbite, his eyes flickering over guiltily. "Master I... found this." </p><p>"Found it did you? </p><p>Anakin holds out the plate. Half a sandwich still remains with only a bite or two taken out of it. "Want the rest?" </p><p>Obi-Wan sighs. "No Anakin, that's fine. It just gives me an excuse to go again sooner." </p><p>He retracts the plate, still looking guilty but Obi-Wan can feel his faint satisfaction. There are a few moments of quiet. Just the sound of Anakin chewing, and he quickly tunes that out. Finally, the boy finishes his lunch and looks up with a tentative expression.</p><p>"What was the vision, anyway?" </p><p>Oftentimes his visions are horrible. Graphic depictions of war, carnage, or death. Or all of the above. He doesn't like to tell Anakin about those so he just says it was too vague to tell. At least not while he is so young. No use in worrying him over a silly vision that likely won't come true. </p><p>Anakin always asks, though. This time, his outlook isn't so grim.</p><p>"Well, as a matter of fact, it was about you, my padawan." </p><p>Anakin stops chewing. "Me?"</p><p>"Yes, though from your lack of braid it appears you were not my padawan anymore." </p><p>"Not-- A master?"</p><p>"Knight, probably." </p><p>"Wow," the young boy looks wistfully into the distance. 'Was I tall?"</p><p>"What?" </p><p>"Tall? Was I tall?" </p><p>"Well... yes, you were."</p><p>"Taller than you?" </p><p>"Anakin." </p><p>"Taller than you, <em>Master</em>?" </p><p>Obi-Wan sighs. He recalls the image of having to look <em>up</em> at an older Anakin. He reminds himself that the future in visions is not concrete. It is always possible his padawan will cap out at an average meter and three-quarter height... </p><p>"Yes, Anakin, you were taller than me. Now, do you actually want to know what happened?" </p><p>The padawan sobers and nods. </p><p>"Right, so I was on a lovely stroll in the Temple and suddenly I am grabbed from behind by an unruly Jedi Knight," Anakin giggles, seeming far too comfortable with his implied designation as the <em>unruly Jedi Knight. </em>"And then you asked me to come to a cantina with you and your friends." </p><p>"So we were hanging out?" </p><p>"It seems so." </p><p>"Did you say yes?" </p><p>"Well yes, do you think I would say no to spending time with you, my padawan?" </p><p>A grin appears across the young boy's face. A grin that has a suspicious amount of <em>trouble</em> behind it. </p><p>"Was there anything else in your vision?" </p><p>"No..." Obi-Wan says, eyeing the scheming padawan. </p><p>"Well, in that case, when your headache is gone will you spar with me? It would be a great way to--"</p><p>"Oh, don't say it, Anakin--"</p><p>"<em>Spend time with your padawan.</em>" </p><p>He said it. Obi-Wan sighs, staring at the hopeful padawan. "You know I hate it when you use my words against me." </p><p>Anakin takes another bite. "I like to think of it as active listening." </p><p>It seems he walked right into this one, but Obi-Wan doesn't mind today. Not with his headache already waning, a fresh cup of tea in his hand, and a rare vision that didn't ruin his entire day. He sits up to take a long swig of the hot drink, feeling it lesson the tightness behind his eyes even more. "I suppose it has been a few weeks since we have had a proper spar," </p><p>Anakin's face lights up. "Really, Master?" </p><p>"You better hurry up and change before I change my mind." </p><p>In a flash, he is running for his room. Obi-Wan chuckles to himself, knowing very well the boy is throwing his robes into a haphazard pile on the floor. <em>Silly boy, that one</em>. </p><p>Yet, his mind keeps going back to the vision. The young man Anakin will eventually become. Confident. Still snarky, but his underlying kindness was evident even in the short interaction. A man that actually wanted to spend time with his old Master. It's something he often thought about in the wee hours of the night of his own master. If Qui-Gon were... still alive, would they be friendly? Or would they be estranged like he is to Master Dooku? </p><p>He imagined it would be the former. Maybe as a knight and he a master, they would see eye-to-eye more. </p><p>Obi-Wan hardly hopes his visions come true, but this one is different. This one, he will tuck away and hope to one day find himself walking alone through the temple on a lovely day and hear his former padawan running after him. Feel his arm affectionately wrap around him. Talk to him as though they are quarreling brothers. </p><p>Brothers. <em>Huh.</em> </p><p>Maybe in this future, however distant or near, he will finally shave the beard. </p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Thank you for reading! I guess I was in the rare fluffy mood, and man, I made myself sad just writing this. </p><p>I know Anakin has never really been written in canon or legends to have many friends, but I like the idea of him kinda just being a floater. Like he doesn't really have close friends, but he sorta runs with a bunch of different groups and tries to impress them by offering up his and Obi's quarters to hang out and get snacks and such. And of course, Sith-killing, cool-uncle Jedi Knight Kenobi is always a popular attraction (and a big softie towards kids) so they just always have various padawans hanging around. Makes me want to expand more upon that dynamic so maybe I'll write about it in a different fic...?</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. General Kenobi</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Obi-Wan is running on fumes. Anakin has a bad feeling about this. They go into battle anyway.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>This morning, a shiny asked Obi-Wan if he preferred General Kenobi or Master Kenobi. It was a question that earned him a slap on the back of the head from one of the more experienced men. "He is your <em>general</em>, newbie, only the other Jedi call him Master." The men laughed it off, giving the kid trouble, and Obi-Wan walked away before they noticed. </p><p>An innocent question, yes, but one that sent Obi-Wan into a bit of a tailspin. The war has been getting to him. He hasn't had proper sleep in days, living off stale caff and wherever he can curl up for a thirty-minute power nap. </p><p><em>Do you prefer General Kenobi or Master Kenobi?</em> </p><p>He wants to say <em>master</em> is his preferred title. The title he has been working his entire life for. Master Kenobi is a Jedi who worked hard to come back from less than adequate beginnings. One of the youngest members of the Jedi council (and they certainly like to remind him of the fact). A master of Soresu and the only Jedi that actually <em>enjoys</em> instructing the youngling Aurbesh class. After spending monthsteaching a padawan as stubborn as Anakin to read when he was nine, three-year-olds are a breeze. </p><p>But Master Kenobi isn't here right now. General Kenobi is. </p><p>General Kenobi is a smooth-talking, always rational, master of strategics. <em>The Negotiator</em>, they call him. Even named a ship after him and signed him up to command the whole of the Third Systems Army. High General Kenobi-- Who fights alongside his men on the front lines, coordinates the attack plans for other Jedi Generals, and somehow finds time to learn the names of thousands of troopers that look almost exactly the same. As much as Obi-Wan wants to be Master Kenobi, he simply is not. There will be a time and a place for that man, and one day he will get to take that place. </p><p>But not today. </p><p>Not as they prepare for battle. Not as Cody is assigning positions and handing out blasters to men who haven't been alive but ten years. Not as he overhears his former padawan challenging a sixteen-year-old to a competition on who can decimate the most battle droids. Certainly not as he looks at the plans and can tell this is going to be a bad battle where no matter how well they fight they will lose many troopers. </p><p>Because underneath Master Kenobi and General Kenobi is Obi-Wan, and Obi-Wan is simply tired. </p><p>He feels Anakin approaching, so he pushes aside his weariness and pretends to be going over their starting positions. A strong hand clamps onto his shoulder. </p><p>"I know I didn't just hear you two planning another one of your silly competitions," he says before Anakin or Ahsoka can say anything. </p><p>"It's called efficiency, Master," Anakin replies cooly, plucking the datapad right from Obi-Wan's hand. He rolls his head to the side so the knight can better see his dissatisfied expression. Ahsoka chuckles, looking between the two generals in a staring match. </p><p>"We have to beat Master Mundi's record!" Ahsoka says, nudging her master in the ribs. "C'mon Skyguy, Rex is waiting for us." </p><p>"What have I told you about-- nevermind, let's go," He turns back to Obi-Wan and gives him a one-finger salute. "May the Force be with you, Master." </p><p>Obi-Wan smiles. "And with both of you." </p><p>The pair takes off toward a gunship on the opposite side of the staging area where Captain Rex is waiting as patiently as a trooper dealing with those two can be. Obi-Wan can't help a small smile as he watches the Master and Apprentice pair talk with animated motions the entire way over. Ahsoka is simultaneously a good lesson in responsibility for Anakin, and so much like him, they might as well be quarreling siblings. In a certain way, he feels like they are both his padawans-- kids thrust into war too young. He feels responsible for them no matter how many times Anakin is insistent that he is not "a padawan anymore" and he can "take care of himself".</p><p><em>Right. I'd like to see him trying to make that claim while he curls up in my bunk after a rough mission or having a bad dream</em>. </p><p>(Truth be told, Obi-Wan doesn't mind when Anakin shows up at his door in the wee hours of the night, his eyes bloodshot and watery from another horrifying premonition within his dreams. It's a feeling Obi-Wan knows far too well. He is pleased his quarters are a place where the young knight can feel safe.) </p><p>"Ready, sir?" Cody says. Obi-Wan hadn't noticed he walked up next to him. He looks at the clone commander he's come to consider a good friend and puts on his best look of confidence. </p><p>"Of course, Cody. Gather the men."</p>
<hr/><p>As Anakin and Ahsoka take off, leaving the staging area to get to their drop point, Anakin keeps his gaze fixed on his former master until they are too high for him to see him. He frowns, earning a mirrored look from his padawan standing across from him. </p><p>"What is it, Master?" </p><p>He can't really explain it. Something is nagging at him and he isn't sure why. </p><p>"I just have a weird feeling." </p><p>"To be honest," she says, placing a hand on her belly. "I think those rations this morning were expired...I've had a weird feeling all morning, too." </p><p>He squints. "Ahsoka, rations don't <em>expire</em>." </p><p>"Then why did it taste like cardboard?" </p><p>Rex, who is standing next to Ahsoka starts to laugh. "Did you have the taco salad one, sir?" </p><p>She looks up at him with wide eyes. "Yes!" </p><p>"That's just how that one tastes. We usually leave those for the stray cats." </p><p>Ahsoka looks disgusted, and Rex and the other nearby troopers look amused. But Anakin stares back out the open door of the gunship trying to puzzle through what could be feeling so strange in the Force.</p>
<hr/><p>Obi-Wan is <em>quite literally</em> knee-deep in battle droids. Some of them had the misguided programming to attempt to dogpile him, which resulted in about ten battle droids being sliced through their midsections with a quick spin of his saber. Coincidentally, a few tanks and another battalion of battle droids decided to show up at that moment, so the area around him quickly turned into a battle droid barricade. </p><p><em>Anakin would find this hilarious,</em> Obi-Wan thinks, managing a smirk as another battle droid gets added to the pile. The battle is going well, allowing him some respite. The Separatists had a good position, but their strategy was weak. The 501st managed to push the forces that threatened Obi-Wan's pursuit the most into retreat, freeing up significant resources to aid the main front. Their casualty numbers have been minimal so far, and he can feel the confidence and energy of the men increasing as this daunting battle quickly turns in their favor. </p><p>And then, Obi-Wan feels a familiar prickle down his spine and the faint smell of mint. Surrounded by battle droids bleeding oil and shooting sparks, the fresh scent should be the last thing he should come across. His eyes widen as he frantically turns to find Cody. </p><p>Thus far in the war, Obi-Wan has gotten lucky. </p><p>Now, luck is not necessarily something he believes in-- everything is the will of the Force. However, since his visions are <em>also </em>the will of the Force, he figures the fact that a bad one has not struck him in the midst of a battle is something he can consider lucky. At least, luck attributed to the Force being not in the mood to see him incapacitated while getting shot at.</p><p>Of course, the reason Obi-Wan doesn't like luck is that it runs out. </p><p>And <em>of course</em>, it happened to run out today. </p><p>As he turns to find a place to retreat to ride out this vision, a blast manages to slip through his cleverly constructed wall of droids, ricocheting off the durasteel and slamming into the back of his shoulder. He yelps in surprise, crumbling to the dusty ground. As his vision starts to blur he manages to press a code on his commlink and bring it to his face. </p><p>"Code Ginger," he rasps. His body goes limp as he hears the faint yelling of troopers running toward him.</p><p>
  <em>"The general is down! Repeat, the gen..."</em>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>An explosion ricochets off the side of the mountain, sending Obi-Wan flailing into the open air. An animalistic, shrill shriek echoes off the rocks around him, and it takes a moment for him to realize it is not his own scream but that of a varactyl falling a few meters below him. </p><p>Falling. <em>I'm falling!</em> He realizes as the world around him rushes past. Through the wind whistling, he can hear his men yelling.</p><p>"The general is down!" </p><p>But...</p><p>If he isn't mistaken their tone is not one of fear or anxiety, but of celebration. </p><p>
  <em>The general is down.</em>
</p><p>He's plummeting toward a body of water at an alarming rate. Many times, Obi-Wan has fallen from great heights, so his reaction is automatic. He stretches his arms and legs out, attempting to create as much drag as possible as he tumbles through the air.</p><p><em>But pull in before hitting the water</em>. </p><p>Obi-Wan draws the Force around him, cradling his body to slow his descent. He's going too fast to stop himself, but it's enough he could survive this fall. </p><p>Probably. </p><p>Closer and closer the water comes.</p><p>
  <em>How long have I been falling? </em>
</p><p>Luckily and unluckily the varactyl hits the water first. The animal, unfortunately, unaided by the cushion of the Force dies with a high-pitched gasp upon impact. He has just a second to feel the sudden blip of Force presence cut out before he pulls his body into a straight line, takes a deep breath, and plummets head-first into the water. </p><p>From the surface being broken by his fallen companion and his manipulation of the Force, Obi-Wan opens his eyes to find himself still alive. He is deep in the water, the pressure aching against his head and lungs. Even with his rebreather, which he quickly shoves into his mouth, it will be a slow-going way up to equalize the pressure. Obi-Wan watches sorrowfully as the lifeless green blur of the varactyl sinks into the bottomless abyss below him. Had he fallen below the animal he would most certainly be dead. </p><p><em>I almost died... and how? Cody and the others had the platform secure. The blast had to have come...</em> </p><p>Screaming. Bellows of agony echo through his mind in a sudden crescendo of fear. Screams he shouldn't be able to hear so deep underwater if they were coming from the surface, so they must be--</p><p>Death. So much of it. It wraps its dark fists around Obi-Wan's throat, and even with the rebreather allowing oxygen into his lungs, he sees dots before his vision. The Force is imploding, writhing as he can physically feel inky darkness staining the delicate tendrils of light. </p><p>He kicks as hard as he can, trying to find his way to the surface but everything in him is saying <em>Stop! </em></p><p>
  <em>Stop. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Rest. Finally, rest.</em>
</p><p>Panic spreads through him. His head is whirling as pain shoots through it. A shooting pain he hasn't felt since Qui-Gon was killed and their bond was forcibly-- </p><p>
  <em>Help us!</em>
</p><p>Young voices cry in agony, and he feels something irreparable within him shatter as the galaxy cries out with a haunting mourning song. <em>Help us! Save us! He's coming! He's going to kill--</em></p><p>And then silence. Silence so jarring he stops swimming in hopes he will hear anything.</p><p>A faraway voice. A woman speaking in hushed tones. "<em>Help me Obi-Wan Kenobi, you're my only hope." </em>And then she too is silenced.</p><p>He feels like he might puke. Or faint. Or just fade into the Force right there. </p><p>But the Force wraps around him like a blanket, warming his shivering body and urging him upward. Onward. </p><p><em>You're their only</em> <em>hope</em>.</p><p>And so he swims.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Obi-Wan awakes gasping, staring at the burlap roof of the med tent at base camp. He's not underwater. Not falling. The screams turn to the familiar yelling of his troopers, and the occasional echo of blaster fire.</p><p>He breaths heavily, letting reality melt back to him... but as it does, involuntary tears well up in his eyes. </p>
<hr/><p>Cody was the first to see the general drop. Tucked up near the very front lines, the Jedi curated an impressive pile of clankers and was, per usual, keeping the large bunk of the battle droids occupied. The Commander was already watching him when he saw the Jedi suddenly stiffen and stagger back. Cody has been in enough battles with Kenobi to recognize it's time to send in backup.</p><p>"Waxer! Gearshift! With me!" he commands, and the two men fall into formation behind him.</p><p>Cody watches in horror as a stray blaster shot smashes into the already-weary general, and he loses sight of General Kenobi beneath his pile of battle droids. </p><p>
  <em>Code Ginger.</em>
</p><p>The commlink message rings out and Cody curses. He calls in for more cover fire, shifting some of the troops a further distance from General Kenobi to draw the Seppies away.</p><p>The three troopers arrive at the fallen general, immediately struck by the wake of carnage Kenobi has left around him. The Jedi are efficient in battle, but it's rare their casualties are so... concentrated. Gearshift nearly trips over the head of a battle droid. </p><p>"He's hit," Waxer says, examining the blaster wound. "Superficial." </p><p>Cody is suddenly aware that the Jedi's eyes are still open, making his stillness look eerie like a dead man. He tears his glove off and presses his fingers to his pulse point, instant relief at a strong heartbeat beneath his fingers. </p><p>"We extract him now. Gearshift, hold this position." </p><p>"Taking over the clanker cage, sir," Gearshift says, eagerly planting his long-range rifle on its stand to get some ground-level snipe shots through the gaps of the droid pile. </p><p>Waxer jumps to the other side of the man, kicking the fallen clankers out of the way to make room. He squats down and picks up General Kenobi as though he weighs nothing, throwing him limply over his shoulder. Cody grips his blaster, taking a deep breath. He and Waxer nod to one another, and then the lieutenant presses to a stand from his crouch, Cody laying down cover fire as they run back toward the base camp. Other troopers, momentarily pausing to take in the sight of General Kenobi being carried unconscious, jump into action. They join in on the cover, alerting others of the 212th to fill in. Supported by his brothers, Cody turns to focus on his running. </p><p>The shift in the attitude of his troopers is palpable. A moment earlier they were immersed in the battle, fighting well and yelling their usual battlefield jokes over the sound of blaster fire. Now, the men fight with a different determination. Their Jedi is down and they have collectively decided their opponents will be swiftly defeated. </p><p>Cody feels a pang of pride for his brothers and their quick response, but also mutual worry for their general. He's come to grow attached to the annoyingly reckless Jedi, and though he knows this is mostly Jedi Force stuff going on, he can't help feel concerned seeing his lifeless body.</p><p>Cody catches up to Waxer who is breathing heavily with exertion but shows no sign of slowing. </p><p>"'t's like Geonosis all over again," he yells. </p><p>"Let's hope that's where the similarities end," Cody groans. The dusty terrain of this planet already reminds the commander enough of the Point Rain mission. He doesn't need or want a <em>third</em> Geonosis.</p><p>The two troopers burst into the med tent, startling Kix of the 501st. The medic's eyes widen when he sees the general slumped over Waxer's shoulder before narrowing with intensity. "Bed two. What happened?" the no-nonsense trooper asks, grabbing a handful of bacta patches. </p><p>Waxer deposits General Kenobi gently on the cot while Cody explains the blaster wound. </p><p>"It's a flesh wound, but the general is in the middle of a... Force vision.. thing. He might be unconscious for a while." </p><p>Kix looks from General Kenobi to Cody again. He can see the gears in the medic's head turning with this new information. <em>"</em>Damn Jedi Force shit,<em>" </em> Cody hears him mutter. "Sir<em>,</em> will he need... treatment? For...  <em>that</em> when he wakes up?" </p><p><em>Haar'chak, I didn't think to ask that.</em> General Kenobi gave him a <em>very brief</em> crash-course on Force visions. "Sorry, Kix, I just know it's a Code Ginger." </p><p>"Code Ginger?"</p><p>"It's the tea Obi-Wan drinks to relieve his post-vision headaches," a new voice rings out through the med tent. Cody, Kix, and Waxer turn to see Skywalker standing with his arms folded in the doorway. "with honey. I came up with it," he adds. General Skywalker thankfully looks untouched beside his robes being quite dusty. "501st is back with reinforcements. Ahsoka is with Rex getting them in position. Looks like the Separatists have already started calling for retreat, though."</p><p>Cody nods and looks at Kix. "Do you have any tea on hand?" </p><p>"No sir, I'm afraid not." </p><p>General Skywalker walks further into the tent, pulling a small pouch from his utility belt. "I have some." He hands it to Cody, and Kix goes to work examining the blaster wound on Kenobi's left shoulder. Without the wall of clones obstructing his view, Cody is vaguely aware that Skywalker has a full view of his master. He watches the young Jedi, thankful he has his bucket on to hide his observations. Skywalker sighs deeply, his fist clenching at his side before relaxing. He is used to seeing General Skywalker worried when his master is injured-- Kix has grown quite comfortable pulling rank when he needs to by this point. But now, he is reacting differently than usual. The Jedi Knight is calmer like he knew something had happened and wasn't at all surprised. Perhaps it's just that he understands this whole Force thing. From how stocked his utility belt is with in-case-of-emergency Obi-Wan Kenobi supplies, this must be a frequent occurrence the commander isn't aware of. </p><p>Even so, Skywalker has freaked out over lesser wounds than blaster burns. </p><p>Cody stands by him silently for a moment, waiting for further questions about what happened, how Kenobi was shot... but it never comes. Instead, Skywalker turns, looking at him with a hollow expression. </p><p>"Thank you, Commander. For pulling him out." </p><p>Cody can't imagine a world where he <em>wouldn't</em> run into an active battlefield for his general. The apology catches him off guard. What else would he have done? He nods anyway. </p><p>"Of course, General... How long do these usually last?" </p><p>"Depends." </p><p><em>For as much as Skywalker talks, he certainly doesn't say much, does he?</em> Cody thinks and then squeezes his eyes shut. <em>Great, I sound like General Kenobi. </em></p><p>"Depends on what, sir?" </p><p>"How bad the vision is." </p><p>Cody isn't sure if <em>bad</em> is referring to bad like graphic scenes or bad like vivid and lengthy, but he gets the feeling the Jedi knight isn't in the mood to elaborate either way. He excuses himself to go find Rex and end this battle once and for all. </p>
<hr/><p>Obi-Wan's quarters feel small. He lays in bed, staring at the ceiling with no intention of falling asleep anytime soon. </p><p>He's vomited twice. It worried Kix, but he convinced him to let him sleep in his quarters anyway. That he would return if he vomited again, though there is nothing in Obi-Wan's stomach that could possibly force its way up now. </p><p>Somehow, he still feels like he's falling. Like he'll hit the water at any moment now. He tried to meditate on these potent feelings clouding his mind, but every time he closes his eyes he hears the cries of agony and the horrible feeling of death tear through him like a damn lightsaber. </p><p>Obi-Wan curls onto his side, pressing his shins against the wall of his bunk. He tells himself the usual list:</p><p>1. The future is constantly changing. </p><p>2. His vision is not guaranteed to come true. </p><p>3. None of it was real. </p><p>He tells himself this despite the fact his visions come true more often than not. He was a padawan when he experienced their horrific landing at Point Rain decades before it happened. He was a youngling when he saw himself fighting amongst the Young on Melida/Daan. Both times there were these moments when reality collided with the dreams he had spent months trying to get out of his head. It was a strange sensation. Like he'd been there before, and knew exactly what was coming. (His vision did give him the foresight to bite down on something as Trapper set his dislocated leg back in its socket when that moment came around again.) </p><p>And there were many others. Somehow his visions have the convenient quality of not providing him enough context to stop the horrible consequences. He doesn't realize he's in the future he foretold until it is his present. </p><p>This terrifies him. </p><p>He doesn't know who is in agony or why. Where even is he? How did he fall? Why is <em>he</em> their only hope? His anxiety is peaking and attempts to quell it are not working. Obi-Wan draws his shields in, feeling the unanswered questions swirl about his mind. </p><p>Then there's a knock. Before he can say anything or even move, his door is opening. </p><p>"Master?" </p><p>He lets out a deep breath that betrays him, quivering with emotion. And then Anakin is beside him, a hand on his bicep gently rolling him from his side so he can see his face.</p><p>"Master Obi-Wan!" </p><p>"Anakin," Obi-Wan says, acting as though he woke him up though it is obvious that is not the case, "what are you doing here? Did you have a bad dream?" </p><p>"I--" the young knight looks conflicted. Tired and conflicted. "No, I-I wanted to check on you." </p><p>Obi-Wan pushes himself to a sitting position. "Well the bacta did its job, so my shoulder is quite alright." </p><p>Anakin swallows hard, sitting down on the edge of the bunk. "That isn't what I mean, and you know it." </p><p>"My vision?" </p><p>He nods. </p><p>"Well, it wasn't anything too crazy. Actually, it was quite unevent--"</p><p>"Don't do that," Anakin huffs. "I know what you're doing." </p><p>"And what exactly am I doing, padawan?" </p><p>"Bullshitting me!" </p><p>"Anakin langua--"</p><p>"It's bullshit, Obi-Wan and you know it," he crosses his arms over his chest. Obi-Wan half-expects him to storm out, but instead, his face softens. <em>He's getting better at controlling his anger at least. </em>"I had a bad feeling about today. Before the battle. The Force was trying to tell me something," he looks up at Obi-Wan. "Warning me about you." </p><p>Obi-Wan leans forward, placing a hand over his former padawan's. Anakin only slightly leans into the touch, still maintaining his hardened expression. </p><p>"It was only a blaster shot. Cody and Waxer were on top of it, and as for the vision I managed to use the code to--"</p><p>"I also felt you on the battlefield," Anakin interrupts (<em>again</em>), and Obi-Wan feels everything around him freeze. He is <em>always</em> on top of his shielding for visions-- has been since he was a young child. Sure, he's been tired lately but that shouldn't be an excuse to project. Unless... </p><p>"The blaster injury... might have compromised the hold on my shields," Obi-Wan says quietly, looking down at his lap. "Did Ahsoka feel my projections too?" </p><p>"She was shielded. I made sure once I started to feel it." Obi-Wan feels Anakin's hands on either of his shoulders. He looks up to see him staring at him with blue eyes full of worry and concern. "But master, I... I felt what you were feeling. How you reacted to that vision, and..." he looks away a moment, taking a breath. "it nearly made <em>me</em> lose my lunch in the middle of battle, and I couldn't even see it... What <em>happened?</em>" </p><p>For the second time today, Obi-Wan feels tears welling up in his eyes. Partially at the guilt for putting his former padawan through such an ordeal, and partially because the voices are screaming again, and he is afraid that maybe this isn't reality as he thought. He reaches up and wraps his hand around Anakin's wrist, feeling his flesh against his own and a heartbeat beneath his fingertips. <em>Real... Real, this is real</em>. <em>Anakin is here and he is real. </em></p><p>"Honestly," Obi-Wan whispers, "I don't know what happened. I just felt... everything around me... the entire galaxy become shroud in darkness and death." he looks into Anakin's eyes, trying to make sure he believes that he <em>is</em> telling the truth. "So many-so many dying. So many in pain... it was horrible." </p><p>And then he's being pulled against Anakin's chest, Obi-Wan's face against his shoulder, and the knight's arms wrapping tightly around him. Obi-Wan shakes, weeks of exhaustion, and a day of battle, injury, and diving far too deep into the Force catching up to him all at once. The last time he cried in front of his padawan must have been after Qui-Gon's death, and even on that day Anakin wrapped his nine-year-old arms around him and hugged him tightly. Over ten years have elapsed since that time, yet he half-expects to open his eyes and find himself back on Naboo.</p><p>Anakin holds him until his body stops quivering and his tears run dry. And when he pulls away he sees silent tears running down the knight's own face. </p><p>"I won't let it come true," Anakin says softly, shaking his head. </p><p>"You know we don't have control of these things. As much as we would like to." </p><p>"I'm the Chosen One, though," he says, swallowing hard. "I am supposed to bring balance. I won't let darkness win, Obi-Wan. I won't." </p><p>He's speechless, only able to nod along with the young man that is unraveling before him. This is exactly why he picks and chooses what visions to share. He doesn't want Anakin to carry the guilt. </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>The future is constantly changing. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>My vision is not guaranteed to come true. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>None of it was real. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>Anakin falls asleep curled in a ball at the end of Obi-Wan's bunk. He grabs his cloak and spreads it over him before slipping under his covers. With his legs pulled up to his chest, they both fit in the bunk. He doesn't mind the position. </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>The future is constantly changing. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>My vision is not guaranteed to come true. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>None of it was real. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>He finally drifts to a dreamless sleep.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>By morning, Anakin is gone from his quarters. He wonders if it was actually all a dream, but from his cloak unceremoniously bundled on the floor, he knows it all happened. Obi-Wan gets dressed and tidies his hair. As he finishes, he stops in front of his refresher mirror, gripping the edges of the sink as his reflection stares back at him.</p><p>Visions have been a part of Obi-Wan's life for thirty years. He's had bad ones before-- arguably worse in content. He can handle this one and move forward. He always does. He must. There are people relying on him. Battles to plan and execute. The war rages on no matter if he is having a nervous breakdown over a nightmare, so he might as well muster on. </p><p>
  <em>Are you General Kenobi or Master Kenobi?</em>
</p><p>Somehow he sees neither. He looks in the mirror and sees only Obi-Wan Kenobi. Tired, weary, shaken by the events of the previous day. </p><p>That won't do.  </p><p>General Kenobi would throw himself into the next campaign. Distract himself until the screams fade to the back of his mind. </p><p>So he leaves his quarters, heading for the mess to grab a cup of caffeinated tea and some breakfast. He greets his men, assuring them that he is alright and they did a fantastic job in the battle. He sits next to Ahsoka and tries to ignore the pity smile Anakin is giving him. </p><p>"So," Obi-Wan turns to the young Togruta, the corner of his mouth twitching into a smirk. "What was the final tally on battle droids?" </p><p>Her eyes widen and flicker to her master before a wide grin crosses her face. "Sixty-eight." </p><p>"What!" Anakin bellows. "You did not get more than me <em>again</em>." </p><p>"You dipped early, Skyguy, not my fault." </p><p>"I was at the med tent, all the one's after don't--</p><p>"I suppose--" Obi-Wan interrupts, shaking his head at the two, "when I see Master Mundi I will have to inform him his record has been broken." </p><p>The table erupts in cries of protest from Anakin claiming a recount and Ahsoka rubbing in her victory. <em>These two have much to learn. </em>But as the knight and his padawan quarrel, Rex and Waxer slide down from the other end of the table, both of them holding back smiles. </p><p>"Seventy-four," Rex says, making Anakin and Ahoksa's heads turn in shock. </p><p>"Rex what! You got seventy-four battle droids?" Ahsoka says in awe.</p><p>"No, sirs," Waxer nods his head in Obi-Wan's direction. "Master Kenobi did." </p><p>That is enough to set off the other two Jedi over logistics of whether or not Obi-Wan should even be considered as part of the competition when he was the one making fun of them for it in the first place, and the troopers into fits of amusement. Obi-Wan lets them have their fun, sipping on his tea and letting the warmth of the drink and the moment spread through him. </p><p>The voices of his vision are still there. A constant reminder that no amount of his padawans' yelling at one another will allow him to forget the cold that spread through his every cell. In this instance, maybe the General Kenobi approach isn't enough. </p><p><em>Master</em> Kenobi would meditate over these lingering feelings. Perhaps after breakfast, he will feed on this positive energy and take the morning to release his anxieties to the Force. </p><p>Maybe, being a little bit of both will help.</p><p> </p><p>He just won't be Obi-Wan. Not right now, at least. </p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I hope nobody was hoping for more fluff like the last chapter... we are in the thick of the angst now, guys.<br/>Thanks for reading :) I already made myself sad with just the outline of the final chapter, so hold on tight. 5 will be coming soon!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Ben Kenobi</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Ben Kenobi considers his past, present, and future.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Padmé Amidala's lavish Coruscant apartment never fails to impress. From what he understands, she doesn't live there much anymore, choosing to spend more time in Naboo with her family since her final senatorial term ended. Obi-Wan sits on the couch, taking in the warmth of company. It's a lively occasion, bustling with people and conversation. Padmé stands at the door, opening it for another stream of people entering. Behind Padmé, aiding the greeting is Anakin-- but not the Anakin he remembers. This is a man Obi-Wan isn't familiar with. His hair is cut to a more sensible length, short up the sides but the longer top is still a fashionable amount of mess. Faint stubble contours his chin and cheeks, making him look older despite the youth evident in his face. </p><p>It's been nearly a year since he hung up his Jedi robes for good, and now he looks as though the Naboo senator had her hand in dressing him. <em>Typical Padmé.</em> From the dark grays and blues in the various layers of his garment, he at least seemed to keep his preference for a darker palette. </p><p>He looks comfortable in this life. Obi-Wan wonders if it has made him a different man from the boy he watched grow up. </p><p>But then Anakin looks across the room, eyes locking with Obi-Wan. His polite smile slips for a moment and is replaced by a half-smirk and a lighthearted eye-roll. Obi-Wan shakes his head, shooting the young man a wry look to <em>pay attention</em> before his wife notices he isn't achieving his job of taking gifts and placing them on the pre-determined gift table. Even married and with children, Anakin Skywalker is still Anakin Skywalker.</p><p>The seat next to him on the couch dips with a new arrival. </p><p>"Quite a party, don't you think?" a smooth, deep voice says cordially. </p><p>"Well, it is an Amidala party," he turns to face his new companion, "so I would hardly expect--" Obi-Wan freezes. Calm brown eyes stare back at him, riddled with amusement. Qui-Gon Jinn brushes his long hair, now almost completely gray throughout, over his shoulder. "Master, I did not see you come in." </p><p>"Hello, Obi-Wan. I'm glad to see you could make the twin's party," he smiles. "Anakin was worried you wouldn't be back in time." </p><p>Obi-Wan looks past his aging master to see two babies in the arms of Ahsoka and Bail Organa. Both are, of course, dressed in colors matching their parents. Ahsoka coos over baby Luke, his big blue eyes like wide saucers as he tries his best to wrap his clumsy fingers around her montrals. Leia, on the other hand, is fussier, pulling at her hair clips and throwing them on the ground with a stern facial expression until Bail swoops down and picks them up again. </p><p>Anakin and Padmé must have their hands <em>quite full </em>with these two.</p><p>"That's the benefit of being a council member, Master," he winks. "I can assign a knight to relieve me so I may return for such a joyous occasion." </p><p>Qui-Gon smiles. "My padawan a member of the high council. Who would have thought?" </p><p>"Probably nobody," Obi-Wan grins back. </p><p>"If you still had a braid, I would tug on it, you know." </p><p>Warmth spreads through Obi-Wan as his former master beams at him, pride evident in his expression. "I know, Master. I can practically feel it." The conversation fades to a comfortable silence. It is something they were always good at when Obi-Wan was his apprentice.</p><p>"Someone call Master Dooku and Yoda, we almost have the whole lineage here!" Ahsoka's voice rings out with glee as she plops down next to Qui-Gon. She must have passed Luke onto another guest. Her already-jolly expression brightens even more as Anakin and Padmé make their way over. Anakin sits down beside Obi-Wan, jabbing him in the side with his elbow.</p><p>"Ahsoka is behaving, right? Not being too <em>snippy</em>?" </p><p>"Hey!" </p><p>"Ahsoka is doing great, maybe even more advanced than <em>you </em>at her age."</p><p>He grins, rolling his eyes. "Now, I wouldn't go <em>that</em> far," he says, ignoring the glare from the teenage Togruta. The former Jedi knight then looks up at his wife, "I taught her everything she knows, ya know." </p><p>"Oh, I noticed," Obi-Wan quips.</p><p>"Hey!" Anakin's head whips back around, expression feigning offense. The Jedi Master reaches out and pokes his stubbled cheek.</p><p>"And what in blazes is <em>this?</em> I didn't endure ten years of you making fun of me for my beard for you to come along and grow your own." </p><p>He swats the hand away, rubbing his fingers up his course cheek. "This isn't purposeful. If you had kids you'd know." </p><p>"Oh, believe me, I know very well. <em>You've</em> given me more than my fair share of grays," </p><p>Everyone is laughing now, including Padmé who sits on the corner of the couch with her arm draped over Anakin's shoulder. Her husband gazes up at her, his blue eyes soft and practically twinkling. She looks back at him that same way, leaning down and pressing a soft kiss to his temple. </p><p>Obi-Wan can't help but smile as he drinks in the tender moment. The loving couple. His padawan bringing Leia and laying her in the lap of his former master. The Force is <em>singing</em> and he allows himself to soak in it. </p><p>Padmé rises, clapping her hands together. "Looks like Threepio is bringing in the cakes. Come, Ani, let's gather everyone in the dining--"</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Ben Kenobi wakes up on the floor, feeling as though he was forcibly tugged from a lighter, softer world. From the sand between his fingernails and the howling of wind through the canyon, he is obviously not in Padmé Amidala's apartment. The ambient chatter of party guests fades away, as does the sound of voices he hasn't heard in years. Ahsoka. Qui-Gon. Padmé. Anakin. </p><p>He tilts his head back into the ground, squeezing his eyes shut as the content of his vision processes. </p><p>"Well," he says aloud, to no one in particular, "Fuck that." </p><p>Since darkness rose, the Force has been nothing short of an asshole. His visions have been erratic, often nonsensical in nature. Or worse, heart-achingly cruel, which is where he chooses to categorize <em>this </em>vision. While the fleeting instances of friends he will never meet again bring moments of unadulterated <em>happiness</em> that warm him in the cold desert nights, they are only moments. Memories that continue to fade as though the sandstorm that constantly rages in his mind is slowly chipping them away. As much as Ben tries to hold them close, replaying the lovely moments in his mind, he cannot deny that one day he just won't recall the feeling of his former padawan's hair between his fingers as he re-braided it. Or the way his cheeks ached while watching Anakin and Ahsoka playfully duel with a crowd of clone troopers betting on the winner. Or the afternoons he would spend with Padmé sipping whatever fine tea she had in stock and discussing the latest political scandals. Friends. Brothers. Students. Teachers. They're not around anymore to renew his mind of the luster of their smiles or the feeling of their embrace. </p><p>The mind is not built to hold cherished moments forever. The old ones first fade in color, losing their vibrancy and edge. The plot gets twisted in some, morphing with others until he can't separate them from one another and he finds himself wondering <em>what actually happened?</em> </p><p>And eventually, much to his dismay, he can't remember the name of the fellow Jedi Knight he spent hours dueling with every week in his youth. Or the witty thing Ahsoka said that gave her the nickname <em>Snips</em>. Or that he even visited certain planets, met certain people. Even the things he felt were the most influential in life, the things that formed him into the Jedi he once was, seem susceptible to vanishing into a past forgotten.</p><p>The day he couldn't remember the color of Qui-Gon's eyes was one of the days Ben broke. </p><p>Memories are one thing, but his visions complicate matters. While this one was a lovely scene, it is a reality that never existed.</p><p>
  <em>Somehow, the idea of what could have been is even more painful than the reality of what happened.</em>
</p><p>It sends him into a tailspin of what-ifs that are destined to only have the end product of reducing him to a sobbing mess that reeks of cheap whisky. How dare the Force dangle the alternate reality where Qui-Gon lives? Where Anakin gets to fall in love and Ahsoka gets to be the incredible Jedi she should have been? </p><p>A reality where the war never happened. Never caused the galaxy to choke on darkness and descend into oppressive chaos. </p><p>Obi-Wan pulls himself to his feet, tired of wallowing on the floor about a birthday party that never happened. He pulls out a ginger tea bag and starts heating up a small amount of water.</p><p><em> At least, the children got to celebrate their first years in life.</em> No, it wasn't on Coruscant in the arms of their biological parents. Leia probably had a lovely celebration with Bail and Breha in their beautiful palace on Alderaan. She will grow up to be a princess, protected and cherished. Ben at least got to watch Luke shove his face with a homemade sugarloaf. From afar, of course.  </p><p>Luke is four now. A bright-eyed boy with sandy golden locks that fall into his face. He shines in the Force like one of Tatooine's suns.</p><p>Just like his father once did. </p><p>Despite Ben's best efforts to convince Owen it was safer if Luke had some sort of training to mask his presence in the Force, Owen was quite set on keeping the boy in the dark. Not that Ben can really blame him. Owen met Anakin once, saw the carnage he lay on the sand people after the death of his dear mother. He saw the dark side of Anakin long before Ben. </p><p>Maybe if he'd known sooner he could have done something.</p><p><em>There I go again, acting as though dwelling on the past will do me any good</em>. </p><p>He pours the now-boiling water into a cup and drops the teabag in. As the tea leaves diffuse into the water it darkens by the second. The clear water soon is a dark amber fuming with the spicy aroma of ginger and orange peel. </p><p>Ben brings the cup to his lips, not caring that it scalds his tongue. Relief is immediate, lessening the throbbing against his temples and washing out the bitter taste in his mouth. So many times throughout his life he's drank this very tea to comfort him after a vision. Qui-Gon introduced it to him, and they would share an entire pot of it while Obi-Wan slowly talked through the things he saw. </p><p>Anakin quickly learned the trick and was eager to have it ready whenever he noticed his master was having a vision. Or when they grew older and Anakin no longer sported the padawan braid, he kept a supply tucked away-- along with a few honey packets. They didn't always talk like he did with Qui-Gon, but Anakin was always there when he needed him. </p><p>Until he wasn't. </p><p>In his mind he sees Anakin on Mustafar, eyes once blue now a bright, honey-colored yellow.</p><p>Needless to say, Ben doesn't take his tea with honey anymore. </p><p> </p><p>As his headache clears, his mind still remains clouded-- Haunted by the face of his master that got to grow old. He was always taught that the will of the Force always had a reason. Sometimes Obi-Wan believes the Force takes joy in seeing him spiral. Why else would it imply that had his master lived... </p><p>...had he been quicker...</p><p>...been stronger...</p><p>...not given in to his weaknesses... </p><p>...none of this would have happened. </p><p>What's preposterous is that it isn't a preposterous idea. His vision showed this clear as day. Qui-Gon lives, but presumably, Anakin is still his padawan. He raises him to knighthood and Anakin takes on Ahsoka. Maybe the war happens and maybe it doesn't-- that so much wasn't clear-- but when Anakin and Padmé marry and she becomes with child, he decides to leave the Order. He chooses <em>love</em>. Ahsoka becomes Obi-Wan's padawan, and they all get to share in the joy of two new lives.</p><p>What kills Ben a little bit every day is this is the life he could have been living. The Force doesn't dabble in realities that are unattainable and isn't the first time the Force has shown him a happy alternative. The way things could have been. Though he has been lectured extensively on the dangers of dwelling on the past, there isn't much else to do in this wasteland besides dwell. </p><p>Qui-Gon and Anakin were cut from the same rebellious cloth. He would have told the knight to follow his heart. Said to hell with the Jedi Order so long as he is happy. </p><p>The worst part is, Ben would have given the same advice had Anakin actually come to him. Had Ben not acted like he didn't know about the secret marriage all along. Had he actually talked to his padawan and made it very clear whatever his decision he would stand by him. Whatever would make him happy.</p><p><em>I just wanted to see him happy</em>. </p><p>Ben sets the empty teacup down as tears well up in his eyes. His head drops into his hands as everything begins to feel like it's too much. He gasps as he sucks in a heavy breath, sputtering on the thickness of his spit. Hot tears trail down his face, washing away the thin film of sand that is everpresent on his skin. </p><p><em>I just want to be happy</em>. </p><p>A selfish thing, isn't it? The thought passes through Ben's mind nearly every day and every day he feels guilty about desiring a different life. It goes against the entirety of his training.</p><p>A Jedi is selfless. A Jedi follows the Force. A Jedi is a peacekeeper, a protector of the galaxy. </p><p>Well now, the Jedi are no more and the only thing Ben protects is a four-year-old boy on Tatooine. Is he finally allowed a moment of selfishness? </p><p>
  <em>Not likely.</em>
</p><p>Another sobbing gasp. The cries of a broken man that will be heard by no one. How would the holonet react to find the mighty Obi-Wan Kenobi with snot running down his lip and eyes red from hours of crying? How would they react if they knew how often he shattered like this behind the closed doors of his starship quarters? The fact of the matter is, Ben can't remember the last time he was truly happy. The threat of darkness taking over was always looming even in the most joyous moments of the Clone Wars. Maybe he was happy when he was a knight and Anakin was having a streak of behaving. Maybe the last time was before Naboo. </p><p>It's cruel how the worst memories are the ones that are harder to shake. Ben can still hear the sound of a clone trooper drowning in his own blood on Umbara, but he can't remember the last time he smiled without feeling guilty for having the audacity to look happy when so many have died.</p><p>The realization slams into him, and he wraps his arms around himself as though the pressure is needed to keep him from falling apart at the seams. Out here, in the middle of the desert, there is no one but himself to pick up the pieces, so it is easier to not let them fall in the first place.</p><p>As his sobs subside, clarity finally breaks through. </p><p><em>This is me, releasing my insecurities and transgressions to the Force</em>, he tells himself. <em>This is me allowing myself to feel so I may move forward. </em></p><p>It's not exactly how Yoda taught it, but Ben feels he's earned the right to freestyle at this point. </p><p>It takes deep breaths to ground him. Remind him that the Force is tainted with darkness and his visions aren't to be trusted. To let them consume him will only lead him to a path he vowed to never follow Anakin down. </p><p>He reminds himself that he is needed here. He has a duty to protect Luke Skywalker at all costs. A duty to Padmé to keep her children safe. </p><p>With every breath in, he remembers who he was: <em>Obi-Wan Kenobi. Council Member. Friend, brother, and mentor of Anakin Skywalker. General of the Third Systems Army. Jedi Master.</em></p><p>With every brought out, he reminds himself who is now: <em>Ben Kenobi. Mysterious hermit of the Jungland Wastes. Protector of Luke Skywalker. </em>Ben swallows hard. <em>Jedi Master. </em></p><p>He sinks into a restorative meditation, grasping onto the faint tendrils of the Light as best he can. <em>We all have our destinies laid out before us. I know not of what my purpose will be, but I do know what it is in this moment. Whatever will the Force has for me, I shall accept it as my duty as a Jedi Knight. </em>Ben opens his eyes, staring at the empty room. <em>Even if my purpose is one of infinite sadness.</em> </p><p>
  <em>I can handle it. </em>
</p><p>Ben stands from his meditation, wiping the stray tears from his face. The suns are rising, painting his plain walls with bright hues of orange and pink. He doesn't remember them setting, but time in the Force is a strange thing. </p><p>He's gone almost forty years with these visions, much of them without help. He knows how to push through the fallout of those that show him futures of pain and suffering; The ones that he wishes will come to fruition and never do; Even the ones that threaten to break him permanently. In a way, it's like the Force has been preparing him. By putting Ben through the worst hells imaginable, he was training to spend the remainder of his life with his mind as his greatest combatant. Ben remembers his creché master, Master Vant, used to tell him <em>"It takes one strength to face an external threat-- an entirely different and more complex strength to face one's own mind." </em></p><p>So the question truly is, can he handle the war that continues to rage within him? The fight that never stopped just because the battles did?</p><p>Yes, he can handle it. </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>And we find ourselves at the end. Thank you for reading, whether it was here or on my Tumblr! It seems I cannot stop doing character studies of my favorite sassy space boy but that's okay. This was intended to be more lighthearted but of course, turned sad very quickly because it's Obi-Wan and how can it not be deeply tragic? </p><p>Please let me know what you thought! I love reading your comments and I'm trying to remember to reply to more:)</p><p>...and look out for a Knight Obi--Padawan Ani fluffy feel-good fic probably coming in the near future!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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